if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
