So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize