remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
