Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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