this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
