your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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