Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
