I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
