woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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