I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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