when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
