he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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