I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
