Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
