Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
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Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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