dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
