New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
time to smoke my breakfast
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
