Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
