Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
