Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
