you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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