He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
