Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
