I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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