Are we in a gay sports bar?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
