Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
