There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
