So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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