This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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