i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Too much gin, very little bucket
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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