i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize