Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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