I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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