i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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