Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
