Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
