rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
