i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
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What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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