i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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