sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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