Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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