I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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