Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
