I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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