Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
