saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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