But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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