He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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