me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize