i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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