It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
