After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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