Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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