dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
