When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize