Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
