I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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