She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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