Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
