i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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