I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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