I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just gift wrapped bread.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
