plz talk dirty to me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
